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Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.

– Carl Jung

Welcome

Welcome to my website. My name is Sarah and I am a counsellor, trained and based in the UK, with specialist knowledge of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. There is a lot of information on this website about NPD and the effects narcissists have on their children and partners which I hope you will find useful.

Narcissistic
Personality Disorder

If your partner or parent can be cold, controlling or devaluing, be dismissive of you or your opinions, has rarely said sorry for anything, seems to be lacking in empathy, gives you the silent treatment which may go on for days or even weeks, if they lie a lot, or are manipulative and self-centred, if you get the feeling they think ‘it’s my way or the highway,’ if they are jealous and highly critical, if they are quick to anger and rage and if you feel you are never good enough – you may have a partner or parent with NPD.

A person with NPD can cause their partner and/or children to feel shamed, belittled and ignored and it can have serious effects on self-worth and self-esteem. A person who grows up with a parent with NPD may develop Complex PTSD, addictions, a panic disorder, anxiety or depression, amongst other outcomes.

Latest Articles

The Trauma Bond

Many of us are familiar with the term ‘trauma bond,’ but what does it actually mean? How can we explain the feeling that many people have of being very unhappy in a relationship, feeling at times that they really want to leave it and being determined to do so, but they feel they are somehow stuck, frozen or trapped and they just can’t leave? Even when the relationship gets worse and worse over time, and they end up tolerating situations

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Most Read

Popular Articles

Internal Family Systems Theory

How the Mind Works as an Internal Family Internal Family Systems Theory, developed by Richard C. Shwartz in the 1980s, has grown out of family

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Understanding NPD

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The Successful Narcissist

The Real Self and the Adapted Self A narcissist spends their life defending themselves against the deep wounds inflicted in early childhood (often by their

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Understanding NPD Effects on Children

The Fear of Abandonment

What is the Fear of Abandonment? A fear of abandonment is a deep-seated fear of being left by people that you are close to. This

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Body Image and Binge Eating

Many children of narcissists have a complex relationship with food which may come in the form of binge eating. Men and women can both be

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Adverse Childhood Experiences

Adverse Childhood Experiences A study was published in 1998 as a collaboration between the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and Kaiser Permanente (a

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Addictions

What is an Addiction? An addiction is a repetitive or compulsive behaviour that people use to regulate and manage their emotions. These can be emotions

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Shame

Children of narcissists will often have lots of feelings of guilt and shame. Shame can often ‘stick like glue’. Narcissists shame their children constantly (both

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How We Become Our Own Abuser

Children of narcissists will often ‘internalise the narcissist’. This means to develop part of the brain/personality which mirrors/copies the narcissist’s critical voice. This defence mechanism

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Alone in a Crowd

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Complex PTSD develops in response to chronic traumatisation over the course of months or years. The trauma can include emotional,

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Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Those with Narcissistic Personality Disordered parents have a lot of healing to do, but it can be done. The defences that were built in childhood

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YouTube

Children of Narcissists on YouTube

If you prefer audio – I read through some of these articles on my YouTube channel.

There are also a few videos which are not based on articles.

Complex PTSD

Trauma Articles

Paranoia

Many children from abusive homes have lifelong issues with trust and very strong paranoid tendencies. This paranoia has served an

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Other Articles of Interest

Miscellaneous Articles

Gaslighting

The Origins of the Term The term ‘gaslighting’ is taken from the film Gaslight released in 1944. The film concerns

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"Be patient where you sit in the dark. The dawn is coming."
Rumi
Poet

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We are not what happened to us, we are what we wish to become.

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Sarah Graham

Sarah Graham

I am a Counsellor, based in Bournemouth in the UK, with specialist knowledge of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I am trained in treating Complex Trauma. I work online and am insured to work in most places in the world.
Unfortunately, I can't work with people in the USA or Canada due to state licensing requirements.

Link to my Counselling Website Here