Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate

Carl Jung

Narcissistic
Personality Disorder

If your parent or partner can be cold, controlling or devaluing, be dismissive of you or your opinions, has rarely said sorry for anything, seems to be lacking in empathy, gives you the silent treatment which may go on for days or even weeks, if they lie a lot, or are manipulative and self-centred, if you get the feeling they think ‘it’s my way or the highway,’ if they are jealous and highly critical, if they are quick to anger and rage and if you feel you are never good enough – you may have a parent or partner with NPD.

A person with NPD can cause their partner and/or children to feel shamed, belittled and ignored and it can have serious effects on self-worth and self-esteem. A person who grows up with a parent with NPD may develop Complex PTSD, addictions, a panic disorder, anxiety or depression, amongst other outcomes.

Latest Articles

Cognitive Errors

A child who grows up in a narcissistic family will develop a distorted view of the world and themselves. This is their trauma bias. They

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We are not what happened to us, we are what we wish to become

Carl Jung

Understanding NPD: Effects on Children

NPD – Emotional Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy

What is Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy? MSBP is defined as a mental health problem in which a caregiver makes up or causes an illness or injury in a person under his or her care, such as a child, an elderly adult, or a person who has a disability. The aim of the person with MSBP appears to be to obtain attention, sympathy and in some cases, money. A parent with MSBP can cause their children to come physically close to death, or to actually die.  How is a Parent with MSBP Similar to a Parent with NPD? Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be likened to Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy but with the difference that people with MSBP cause physical illness in others and people with NPD cause ‘mental illness’ in others. The similarity is in the intentional harming of a vulnerable other to meet their own needs. A parent with NPD

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The Abandonment Depression

10,004 words, 60 minutes read time. The Abandonment Depression Adapted from ‘The Search for the Real Self’ by James F. Masterson If we have come from a narcissistic family, understanding the concept of the ‘abandonment depression’ is fundamental. The abandonment depression is at the heart of the driving forces behind many of our behaviours and understanding what it is can help to make sense of behaviours that can seem to be irrational in ourselves or others. The term ‘abandonment depression’ comes from James F. Masterson, M.D., a prominent American psychiatrist who helped to bring the study, understanding and treatment of personality disorders, especially narcissistic and borderline, into the mainstream. He wrote a number of books on the subject and one of these was the ‘The Search for the Real Self,’ which was written for the layman. Most of what is written below comes from ‘The Search for the Real Self,’

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A man likes to believe that he is the master of his soul. But as long as he is unable to control his moods and emotions, or to be conscious of the myriad secret ways in which unconscious factors insinuate themselves into his arrangements and decisions, he is certainly not his own master.

Carl Jung

Complex PTSD

Trauma Articles

Paranoia

Many children from abusive homes have lifelong issues with trust and very strong paranoid tendencies. This paranoia has served an

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YouTube

Children of Narcissists on YouTube

If you prefer audio – I read through some of these articles on my YouTube channel.

There are also a few videos which are not based on articles.

"Be patient where you sit in the dark. The dawn is coming."
Rumi
Poet

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Real liberation comes not from glossing over or repressing painful states of feeling, but only from experiencing them to the full.

Picture of Sarah Graham

Sarah Graham

I am a Counsellor, based in Bournemouth in the UK, with specialist knowledge of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I am trained in treating Complex Trauma. I work online and I am insured to work in most places in the world (bar USA and Canada due to licensing requirements).

Link to my Counselling Website Here