We are not what happened to us, we are what we wish to become

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate

Carl Jung

Narcissistic
Personality Disorder

If your parent or partner can be cold, controlling or devaluing, be dismissive of you or your opinions, has rarely said sorry for anything, seems to be lacking in empathy, gives you the silent treatment which may go on for days or even weeks, if they lie a lot, or are manipulative and self-centred, if you get the feeling they think ‘it’s my way or the highway,’ if they are jealous and highly critical, if they are quick to anger and rage and if you feel you are never good enough – you may have a parent or partner with NPD.

A person with NPD can cause their partner and/or children to feel shamed, belittled and ignored and it can have serious effects on self-worth and self-esteem. A person who grows up with a parent with NPD may develop Complex PTSD, addictions, a panic disorder, anxiety or depression, amongst other outcomes.

Latest Articles

The Trauma Bond

Many of us are familiar with the term ‘trauma bond,’ but what does it actually mean? How can we explain the feeling that many people

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Understanding NPD: Effects on Children

NPD – Emotional Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy

What is Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy? MSBP is defined as a mental health problem in which a caregiver makes up or causes an illness or injury in a person under his or her care, such as a child, an elderly adult, or a person who has a disability. The aim of the person with MSBP appears to be to obtain attention, sympathy and in some cases, money. A parent with MSBP can cause their children to come physically close to death, or to actually die.  How is a Parent with MSBP Similar to a Parent with NPD? Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be likened to Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy but with the difference that people with MSBP cause physical illness in others and people with NPD cause ‘mental illness’ in others. The similarity is in the intentional harming of a vulnerable other to meet their own needs. A parent with NPD

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Chronic People Pleasing

The Moulding of a Child Parents with Narcissistic Personality Disorder often produce children who are chronic people pleasers. This is because their children’s characters are suffocated from a young age as the child is moulded into what the narcissist wants the child to be. A very young child will feel an overwhelming sense of rejection, grief and abandonment as their parent stifles them whenever they try to be themselves and assert their wishes. It becomes a truth that if they do not do what other people want they will not be ‘liked.’ This creates a defence mechanism in the child which is triggered whenever the child has the urge to assert themselves. Uncomfortable feelings will arise which serve as a warning and steer the child into prioritising the desires of others over themselves and they suppress their true self. Doing things for the self is seen as selfish and feelings

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Complex PTSD

Trauma Articles

Paranoia

Many children from abusive homes have lifelong issues with trust and very strong paranoid tendencies. This paranoia has served an

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YouTube

Children of Narcissists on YouTube

If you prefer audio – I read through some of these articles on my YouTube channel.

There are also a few videos which are not based on articles.

"Be patient where you sit in the dark. The dawn is coming."
Rumi
Poet

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Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.

Picture of Sarah Graham

Sarah Graham

I am a Counsellor, based in Bournemouth in the UK, with specialist knowledge of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I am trained in treating Complex Trauma. I work online and I am insured to work in most places in the world (bar USA and Canada due to licensing requirements).

Link to my Counselling Website Here