Meredith Miller is a YouTuber who is the child of a narcissistic mother. Her channel is Inner Integration.
In this video she speaks about an ayahuasca trip she took at a retreat in the Amazon. Ayahuasca is a hallucinogenic brew made from the bark and stems of a tropical South American vine, mixed with other psychotropic plants, used especially in shamanistic rituals by certain Amazonian Indian peoples.
There are three videos. In the first video she talks more generally of the spiritual effects of narcissism on society, in the second she talks more about her personal experience of being in a narcissistic family and a third video talks about using Ayahuasca safely.
At 7.03 she begins to talk about the medicine taking effect.
8.45 she talks about how she saw the mind control/programming from the narcissistic abuse.
At 6 minutes the trip begins. She speaks of feeling the coldness, loneliness and the pain of her past trauma. At around 19 minutes she talks about PTSD.
Here, Meredith Miller advises on how to stay safe if wanting to use Ayahuasca as it is not suitable for everyone and there are some disreputable people in that world.
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I’ve heard that ayahuasca can make narcissism worse (here, for example: https://richard-l-blake.medium.com/narcissism-and-ayahuasca-can-plant-medicines-cure-the-most-uncurable-personality-disorder-748f2799e58a
Do you think that this is true? Will ego death make a covert narcissist (or any other sort) even worse? I’d like that kind person to heal, not get worse.
Hi Keith,
I can’t comment on ayahuasca as I don’t know that much about it.
I am interested in people’s experiences with it and Meredith Miller’s account above is absolutely fascinating.
My husband is a narcissist, and I believe that Ayahuasca directly triggered the “discard” phase. He claims to have had a vision of someone who he used to date and who has turned up from time to time over several years expressing her love for him, and decided to leave me for her. He’s given up absolutely everything for the “perfect” love, which of course will prove to be his next narcissistic supply.
I have many friends who have taken Ayahuasca and had really positive experiences. I have considered it myself, but I truly believe that it is a bad idea for narcissists, who are always looking for a quick fix, a magical answer to their problems. I think it exacerbates their condition. Another friend, who displays narcissistic behaviours – he was once in a cult for instance – after taking it believes he is no longer human and has become obsessed with scripture and spreading his ideas to the world.
It is true, it doesn’t work for projection, slavery race with ego only, but for light being who has dimmed light with ego.