Narcissism originally begins as a response in childhood to developmental issues. Both nature and nurture are influential in the early years in setting up the personality.
Elements of narcissism are needed in the development of a healthy personality. Narcissism forms the basis of self-esteem which enables people to feel deserving of and to achieve their ambitions in terms of work, relationships and other personal goals.
Healthy narcissism is experienced as confidence and a sense of well-being, it is concern for the self and others and sees both the needs and wants of the self and those of others as having a similar value. It is respect for the self and others.
When the narcissistic aspect of the personality is out of balance it can lead to either low or high levels of narcissism. At one end of the spectrum, we have pathological narcissism which becomes concerned with the needs of the self above all others. Their behaviour is self-centred, and the needs of others are disregarded. They become entitled and grandiose and will attempt to control those around them as they coerce the environment, through anger, to resonate with their needs. They want admiration and recognition of their uniqueness and specialness.
At the opposing end of the spectrum, we have low levels of narcissism which result in the individual putting the needs of others above their own and seeing little value in themselves. They may become chronic people pleasers and are out of touch with their own wants and needs. They may struggle to stand up for themselves and may accept being treated badly in relationships as they do not feel they deserve to be loved and accepted for themselves.
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Interesting summary of the variations in narcissism. However, I suggest that those you identify as having low levels of narcissism, actually also have pathological narcissism. They tend to be overly focused on themselves and the possible impact they might have on others. They often develop this stance in response to parents who “took up all the space” leaving the child to assume the “invisible” role, which they do to try to maintain the connection with the care giver. The child assumes that by taking on this role they will be pleasing the adult. This is a narcissist position, thinking that one can shape another’s behavior and avoid trouble in the relationship by behaving in a certain way -essentially believing they are responsible for the other person’s well being. Being overly responsible for others is a hallmark of pathological narcissism, just expressed differently but equally damaging.
Thank you for your comment.
I agree that there can be a case made that high and low levels of narcissism are two sides of the same coin as there is often the manipulation of others to get needs met.
There are many different outcomes of being the child of a narcissist – narcissistic, borderline and schizoid personality disorders are common as are panic disorders, being co-dependent, dissociative disorders etc. These are all due to a fragmented sense of self and an often disorganised attachment style.
The high levels of narcissism in NPD are synonymous with wanting to destroy others if they are threatening to your psyche in terms of challenging the grandiose, false self – people with low levels of narcissism do not tend to be so destructive to others. They are often very destructive to themselves.
I like the structural dissociation model which puts personality disorders on a spectrum close to complex PTSD, if we look at defensive reactions – narcissists tend to be triggered into fight responses to protect themselves whereas people with low levels of narcissism are more likely to go into freeze and submissive responses as a default.
https://childrenofnarcissists.org.uk/structural-dissociation/
In terms of recovery, in therapy, narcissists tend to take 5-10 years in treatment to make changes whereas other disorders tend to be a lot faster so I would see a significant difference there.